Nina Kaufmann

Disordered eating is an issue that, unfortunately, isn’t widely discussed. This is largely because many of the behaviors associated with disordered eating are often normalized or even celebrated. A quick look through social media or magazines reveals a common message: food is the enemy, eat as little as possible, and exercise constantly. The underlying narrative suggests that once you achieve your “ideal weight” (who defines that, anyway?), your life will magically improve.

However, these messages, though prevalent, are harmful. They can lead directly to disordered eating, which poses significant risks to both physical and mental health.

While disordered eating differs from eating disorders in terms of severity and formal diagnosis, many diagnosed eating disorders begin as “innocent” dieting that escalates. Recognizing disordered eating behaviors is crucial in healing your relationship with food and preventing more serious issues.

Here are seven signs to watch for:

1. Yo-yo Dieting

If you find yourself following strict meal plans or diets, only to eventually revert to old eating habits (often accompanied by overeating/binge eating), you might be caught in a cycle of yo-yo dieting. Weight lost during a diet is quickly regained, often with a bit more. This pattern indicates that your relationship with food could benefit from some attention.

All restrictive diets, whether they involve calorie counting or specific meal plans, fall under the umbrella of disordered eating. Even diets that allow you to eat “as many apples as you want” between meals are problematic. These plans are unsustainable and don’t work long-term. If diets were truly effective, you wouldn’t need a new one every few months.

2. Anxiety Around Food

Experiencing anxiety or fear related to food is a clear sign that something is off. This could manifest as a fear of skipping meals, eating before a certain time, or consuming specific foods or food groups. The only legitimate reason to exclude certain foods is a medical condition, like celiac disease or food allergies.

However, many people with disordered eating cut out entire food groups due to fear, even if it’s disguised as a pursuit of health. For instance, individuals on a keto diet may feel anxiety around carbohydrates, and those who take part in “challenges” that eliminate sugar or other foods may find themselves overwhelmed by unease and stress.

Food should nourish both your body and your mind—behaviors that cause anxiety around food are detrimental to your overall well-being. Any sign of guilt, shame, anxiety, fear or stress around food are unhealthy—it’s much healthier to simply enjoy a cookie and move on.

3. Strict Food Rules and Rituals

If you follow rigid food rules, routines, or rituals that cause stress when you can’t stick to them, it might be time to reevaluate your habits. Whether it’s eating at specific times or never missing a gym session, the pressure to maintain these routines can lead to feelings of failure when they’re disrupted.

This includes occasions when you are prevented to follow your food rules, routines and/or rituals because of some external factors you have no control over. For example, if you must skip a meal when you’re supposed to eat according to your meal plan, or when you must skip gym. When this happens, you feel like you’ve “ruined everything”, you’ve “lost control” and you end up feeling like a failure.

Healthy eating and movement should enhance your life, not cause stress or make you feel like you’ve “lost control.” Flexibility is key to a balanced and healthy lifestyle.

4. Obsessing Over Weight Loss

Contrary to what diet culture may have you believe, your worth is not tied to your weight. Yet, it’s easy to fall into the trap of equating weight loss with progress or success related to health, especially when compliments and societal praise reinforce the idea.

Maybe the person you see everyone complimenting on their weight loss suffers from all these disordered eating behaviours – and while everyone thinks she’s doing a “great job” and that she’s an inspiration to everyone around her, all she thinks about is a piece of her grandma’s famous cake, she feels out of control all the time, and she’s scared of most foods.

Maybe the fitness influencer you follow on Instagram looks like she’s totally blissful munching on kale and quinoa every day, but she’s actually afraid to have lunch with her family because of the food that may be on the table, so she’s eating alone.

You can simply never know what life behind the scenes looks for other people.

The truth is that some people suffer from serious eating disorders like orthorexia, anorexia, bulimia etc. for more than a decade without their friends and family even noticing – because in today’s society, disordered eating is often seen as inspirational.

It’s crucial to remember that weight is not the sole indicator of health, and weight loss is not the ultimate accomplishment. In fact, focusing excessively on weight can lead to a disordered relationship with food and exercise. Instead of striving for an arbitrary number on the scale, focus on fostering a positive body image from within.

Keep in mind that health comes from behaviours—and other determinants of health, many of which we have no control over, not from reaching a certain weight.

5. Avoiding Social Events Due to Food Anxiety

If you’ve ever skipped a social event because you were anxious about the food that would be served, this is a sign of disordered eating. Whether it’s bringing your own food to a family dinner or avoiding a birthday party because of fear about your diet, these behaviors signal that your relationship with food is negatively affecting your life.

Food is not just about nutrition—it’s also a source of pleasure, a part of culture, tradition and a way to connect with others. If your eating habits are keeping you from enjoying these aspects of life, it might be time to reassess your approach.

6. Guilt, Shame, and Remorse Around Eating

Diet culture often capitalizes on making people feel guilty for their food choices. The messaging is relentless: “guilt-free snacks,” “earn your meals,” or “deserve your holiday feast.” These slogans reinforce the idea that food is something to be feared or controlled, and this guilt is a hallmark of disordered eating.

It’s important to realize that food is not a moral issue, and feeling shame about what you eat is both unhelpful and unhealthy. Imagine the peace of mind that would come from enjoying food without guilt.

7. Frequent Weight Fluctuations

Significant and frequent changes in weight may be a sign of an underlying health condition, so it’s always a good idea to consult a doctor. However, when these fluctuations are due to repeated dieting and cycles of overeating, it often points to disordered eating.

People with a healthy relationship with food typically experience stable weight, with small, natural fluctuations. In contrast, those caught in the diet-binge cycle may experience extreme changes, which are both physically and mentally stressful. Not healthy at all!

It’s important to note that some degree of weight fluctuation is normal, especially for women, whose appetites and weight may shift throughout their menstrual cycles. Learn more in Nurturing Female Hormones: Beyond Diets and Restrictions.

Conclusion

If you’ve identified with any of these signs, you may be surprised or even resistant to labeling them as unhealthy behaviors. But because many disordered eating habits are so widely accepted, it’s easy to overlook their potential harm.

Awareness is the first step toward healing your relationship with food. Reflect on your eating habits, write down your thoughts, and be gentle with yourself. Remember, you’ve done nothing wrong, but you have the power to change beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve you.

If you find that you need help, consider seeking guidance from a professional. Eating should be a source of nourishment, not stress.